


Lost Loves

by Miranda_tries_their_best



Series: Fusion Time! [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt No Comfort is cancelled here in part two bby, Hurt/Comfort, I stan soft Logan, Kingceit is a very tragic ship for me, Maybe comfort in future installments but not here, Slapping, it's super soft tho, this is a sad one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:20:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23304550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miranda_tries_their_best/pseuds/Miranda_tries_their_best
Summary: Deceit really didn't care for fusion.Don't get him wrong, it's a neat idea and it's quite interesting to see what two combined sides could become but the lying side really had no interest in ever letting himself join that little party that the others seem to be enjoying so much.Perhaps he should have been paying more attention to the others though.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Past King Creativity/Deceit sanders
Series: Fusion Time! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1675945
Comments: 22
Kudos: 193





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I really adore all the fics of Deceit reuniting with his lost love even if it's only for a little bit but you know what's even better?
> 
> Deceit being angry ;)

Deceit really didn't care for fusion.

Don't get him wrong, it's a neat idea and it's quite interesting to see what two combined sides could become but the lying side really had no interest in ever letting himself join that little party that the others seem to be enjoying so much.

No, he knows that any fusion with himself would be unhealthy. Deceit just isn't willing to give what it took to make a stable partnership and he knew that in order to make anything proper that it would take a lot of trust and far more vulnerability then the lying side could provide, perhaps in the future, he could work past this but for the time being, he kept the others at an arms distance.

After all, if he can't be bothered to put effort into it why would he bother?

Perhaps he should have been paying more attention to the others though, he's sure that if he had been a bit more involved than this would have never happened.

He doesn't think much when Patton summons him to the commons, it didn't happen often but the moral side did have a nasty habit of trying to reach out to him. Then again, Deceit always answered that call so who was really to blame?

Still, of all the things that Deceit expected when he popped up into the light side's common room.

Perhaps an attempt at having a family game night or family movie night or anything with the word "family" in front of it,

The King staring down at him with wide eyes was not on the list.

Hope is a thing with feathers but it hits him like a truck.

It flutters in beside his heart and builds up in his throat. His hand shoots up to cover his mouth as his lips almost twitch into a smile at the sight of his long lost love. Relief and joy and longing flood through every inch of his body and he only just barely holds himself back from flinging himself at the man even if the liar knows he would always be caught in those arms.

And then the King reaches out to him, stepping forward with such beautiful ruby and emerald eyes that glisten with unshed tears that make the liar want to hold and soothe his darling. His love is back, his king is looking at him like he's the sun once more and it's all too much to handle and Deceit just wants to kiss him once more but that hope is quickly shoved back down into its cage where it belongs as something much more crushing fills his lungs.

Deceit can't thing properly and his king is standing close to him, leaning down even closer when the ache of his heart chokes him and the palm of his hand collides with the King's cheek with a sickening slap. He hears various responses from the other sides in the room but he can only stumble back as his once beloved violently glows and cracks down the center, the King's form shifts and almost splits in half before forcing itself back together, clutching at their chest like they were physically holding themselves in place. "Dee-"

"No." The scaled side blinks away tears and instead summons upon an unbridled rage that's been swirling inside him like a storm for years. "This is cruel." He hisses out, snapping his head towards Morality who's covering his mouth in shock. "Why would you do this to me? How could you-" Deceit swallows the lump in his throat, turning his gaze to glare into those heartbroken eyes he once loved, giving in to anger is so much easier the crushing sadness. "You think you can just-"

"Honey Dee, please just-"

"Ssshut up!" Deceit cuts the fusion off. "You don't get to do this to me. How dare you?!" The lying side stands tall despite how his former love towers over him. "This is cruel. You don't get to come back for a lovely evening before vanishing again. We're not going to pretend nothing changed or that it's all okay. You don't get to break my heart all over again, understand?!" Deceit is seething, livid, cracking under his carefully crafted mask.

The others are watching them. If Deceit cared to look he would see a horrified Patton with tears flowing freely, he'd see Logan with soft concerned eyes, he'd see Virgil too shocked to speak and on edge from the yelling.

But Deceit doesn't look, staring into eyes that mock rubies and emeralds that hold so much grief that it still tears him apart from the inside.

"Roman, Remus." Deceit grits out as he watches glowing cracks grow over the fusion. "Never do this to me again." Finally, the fusion gives in and splits in half, the twins forcefully shoved apart and landing on the floor.

Roman stays on the floor, violent sobs wracking his form as he pulls his arms around his head and hides as much as he can against the floor. Remus scrambles onto his knees, looking at Deceit with wild and confused eyes.

"Deecee, I just-" The dark side rushes to explain but is left speechless, instead letting out a whine like a wounded dog as his face contorts with guilt. The liar schools his expression, carefully picking up the pieces of the shattered wall around his heart and locking them back into place.

"It's fine, Remus. You had good intentions." Deceit lets his gaze soften for only a moment. "Never do it again."

And with that he makes his exit, sinking out and heading straight to his room. He thought that when he finally greeted the privacy and comfort of his safe place that he would break, that his wall would crumble and he would spend the night mourning what could have been but he doesn't.

Deceit lays in bed feeling empty and tired and ignores when Patton tries to summon him again, he ignores Remus screeching his name and ignores Virgil trying to forcibly tug him.

The apathy won't last, he knows this and he'll have to deal with apologies and crying later.

But tonight he stares up at the golden glass stars hanging from his ceiling and feels nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh fuck, shit, heck, my Loceit is showing-

Deceit thought he was handling things well enough. He'd accepted Patton's apologies and dealt with the other's gazes watching his every move until finally, things started to move on. Patton and Virgil both seem content to move on since Deceit was so thoroughly repressing all that nonsense. It helped that any sympathy they may have given him he throws back with mockery and thinly veiled insults.

He could almost forget it even happened, write it off as a bad dream if it weren't for a certain pair of twins that had a harder time letting things go.

Remus went silent around him more often, enough that sometimes Deceit wouldn't even notice his presence until the liar turned around to find the other dark side standing right behind him. Deceit wouldn't have cared if Remus was planning something or following some horror skit but as soon as Deceit acknowledged his presence he was right back to acting 'normal.'

Roman was easier to deal with, at least. The light side didn't live with him so Deceit only had to deal with his subdued heartbroken looks on occasion. Only sometimes have to pretend he didn't hear Roman try and grab his attention on the very rare times they were alone.

It was very tiring and he had much better things to do than to walk on eggshells around two halves of his ex.

Deceit hates repression as much as the next side, he knows he really should just talk to the twins and try to work something out, do anything to explain why he reacted the way he did and that it really doesn't affect his relationship with them but there's that one little thing that stops him from heading over to one of the creativity's bedrooms every single time.

Deceit is a coward.

He's been blaming the twins like he hasn't been trying to ignore it every time Remus walks into the same room as him like he's been engaging with Remus and entertaining the chaotic side like normal and not just letting conversations fall flat. He blames them like he doesn't scurry out of a room every time he sees Roman enter like he doesn't ignore the prince's greetings when they pass in the hall.

So maybe Deceit himself was adding to the uncomfortableness of the situation and he was self-aware enough to know he isn't going to do anything about it.

Or at least that's what he planned until Logic decided to stop minding his own business.

Logan raises into the liar's room which that fact that he could even find it to sink into would be impressive if he had said literally anything instead of "Tell me about the king."

Deceit had been shocked that he even had the nerve to mention it, even before the twin's fusion it was a bit of a taboo topic. "You knew the king too, isss your memory failing you?" The snake hisses through a smile with far too much teeth to be anything friendly.

Still, Logan doesn't budge. "I didn't know him as you did." He says and steps further into Deceit's room despite having absolutely no invitation. "Tell me about how you knew him."

"I don't have to tell you anything." Deceit has never wanted to throw hands so much in his existence but of course, he doesn't move from his spot because he's a coward. "Why don't you go ask um, I don't know, literally anyone else."

The logical side is quiet for a moment, staring into Deceit's eyes. The snake keeps eye contact, challenging him, not backing down, he's not about to just take this- "You don't have to say only good things." What. "Tell me about his bad habits, what did he do to annoy you? Tell me about his mistakes, just talk about him. I don't care if you say anything good or not."

Deceit hesitates this time, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other and finally breaking his gaze with logic as the floor seemed a much better target. "He..." What is he doing? "He moved a lot in his sleep." Deceit speaks slowly as he picks at his gloves. "It was funny sometimes but a lot of the time he would just turn and smack me in the face in the middle of the night."

The dark side looks up for a moment to see Logan's lips quirk into an almost smile.

"He would put anything in his mouth. I mean, Remus will too because he's curious or likes the feel of things but R- but the King would do it out of spite just to wrestle with him to take whatever he had away because he's an overgrown child."

Deceit moves to sit on his bed, patting the spot next to him and glaring off to the side when Logan sat beside him and spoke about everything that came to mind. He told Logan about how the king always had to choose the movies, how he constantly tried to drag Deceit into whatever idea he had, the time he shoved the liar into a lake of red gelatin that stained his skin and clothes, how he would poke at Deceit's sides to force him to laugh(that story was followed up by a threat to the logical sides corporal form if he told anyone.) He's aware that Logan played him as soon as he's talking about the more fonder memories too, he knows this is what he wanted to avoid but it came a lot easier under the guise of annoyance and Deceit finds that he's not entirely against talking about them.

Eventually, though, the weight gets too much. Deceit falls quiet as his throat tightens and eyes burn. Logan remains calm and quiet next to him, giving him enough time to compose himself before speaking again.

"Roman has admitted to me that he doesn't have many memories of being the king, is this the same for Remus?" Deceit gives a small nod, part of the pain was having someone so much like the king but have no memories of their love. "I see. I have spoken to Roman about their fusion, he said that while he was fused he could remember everything but the moment he unfused, it escaped him again." Logan pauses. "I would assume that means-"

"That means Remus got hit by that too." Deceit sighs tiredly, rubbing his human eye.

"I believe they are left with all the feelings the king experienced but none of the memories." Logan puts a hand on the scaled sides back, the warm pressure making him finally look at the logical side again.

Deceit doesn't know what he looks like at the moment but all he feels is tiredness and that familiar apathy drowning him. "You want me to talk with them." His voice comes out flat, monotone and more uncaring then he intends. Deceit does care, he really does but just the thought of confronting this issue made him just want to curl up and hide away from the world.

He wants to shy away from Logan's eyes but once more the light side surprises him. "No, you don't need to." There's something soft behind the other's eyes, something that Deceit doesn't know if he should trust or not. "You shouldn't avoid them when they're so emotionally compromised-" Deceit gives an amused huff. "But if you're not ready to talk about it then I do believe there is no force on Earth that could figuratively move you. They can wait for you but don't push them away."

Deceit gives a sharp nod and buries his face in his hands. He hates feeling like this, hates being seen like this by another side but still clings onto the small comfort of Logan's presence like the desperate creature he is. "I truly miss him, Logan. I know it may have not seemed like it but-" His words choke off and he bites his lip, willing himself not to cry, he will not cry in front of anyone.

"I know." Logan's hand on his bad rubs small circles, both soothing him and making it incredibly more difficult to resist crying. "I have one question, I will not judge you for your answer so if you could please be honest."

Deceit let's out a watery laugh before taking a deep breath. "Sure."

"If, somehow, the king could back permanently, would you want that?" Isn't that the million-dollar question that Logan just throws out right there.

"No." Deceit doesn't hesitate on this one, this is something he's thought about for a long time, something he wondered when his bed felt too empty or when Remus said something he's heard before. "No." He repeats again, saying it out loud really feels like he's sealing some sort of deal. "He made his choice a long time ago, it hurts and I miss him but it would never be the same." Deceit lowers his hands, letting Logan see him despite his likely disheveled appearance. "And I would never trade my Duke or even Prince for anything, not even my king."

It startles Deceit slightly when arms wrap around him, Logan pulling him into a hug and warms him to his very bones. It takes everything not to break down right there, to not fall apart or collapse in on himself with the logical sides embrace. He does though, maybe, crack a little, just the smallest amount when he leans his head against the other side's chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't actually expect myself to make a part two but here we are and I'm low-key a mess but don't tell anyone


End file.
